Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Day 7 Stats "War, What is it Good For?"

Day 8 will be at the Americana in Hightstown on Rt. 130 on the northbound side.



Before I get started on last nights stats, we all want to thank Frank and Cheryl for allowing us to do a cocktail hour and hot tub party at their place. Chez Frank&Cheryl provided an excellent environment for us drink, eat and indulge in some of our more… uh well… baser bodily pleasure. BTW, I am sure that the stains on the walls will come out after a few coats of paint.

By Day 7 brings us to the AllStarz Sports Pub in Bordentown. Day 7 is always special because the drinkers have been to the mountain top and peeked over to see, although it is off in the distance, the glorious finish line. Day 7 also brought out a record number of TDDoC virgins. The first timers include John “the Mechanic” Fallon (JTMF), Felicia (Gman family member), Jean (Paul Conway’s wife), Don, Lisa and Jenna (some friends of the Eman’s), Frank and Rachel (Big Lou’s kids), Randy (Chaty’s bit.ch a$$ friend). Welcome to the TDDoC newcomers we are glad that we could pop your TDDoC cherry, do come out again. Also in attendance were Donna, Dorian, Chaty, Eman, Lisa E, Trent, Goettle, Ska, Tamp, G, Su, Julian. Mosso, Conway, Big Lou, Yo, Scugi. All and all an excellent showing for Day 7

There were more TV’s in that place than you could shake a stick at. Also there seem to be some confusion over the price of a beer on tap. At times it was $4.75 and other times it was $4.80, this could be the scandal that the TDDoC uncovers this year. Where exactly is that extra $0.05 going, who exactly is profiting from this extra nickel, if this individual gets this nickel 20 million more time he/she will become a millionaire (but still have less than the billionaire PW). We are gonna keep our collective eye on this place because there is something really suspicious going on.

Another sleepless night in Lawrenceville, up about 1:30, I was certain that I would not be falling back asleep so I began to ponder the war. I am not talking about the war that the brave men and women of America are fighting in Afghanistan or Iraq, I am speaking of the war with is taking place inside the Gman’s body. It is a messy war that will leave no winners. I will detail some of the factions in this war.

The Brain – The brain has declared itself an isolationist. After Day 1 of the TDDoC the throbbing brain, immediately declared, “I am sick of this $hit already… I’m out”. The brain promised to shut off as soon as it sensed the presence of alcohol. Normally this would be fine, but the brains major function is to warn the other body parts of the imminent alcohol danger ahead, it gives the stomach a chance to tense itself, the liver a chance to dodge the alcohol, it could relay a message to the hand not to pick up the glass. But alas, due the pounding it took on Day 1 the brain has decided that it is every body part for himself.

The Liver – This type of bombardment has not been realized since the bombing of Dresden in 1945 (or perhaps TDDoC’s in the past). The liver is taking heavy casualties and the punishment seems relentless. Somewhere around Day 3 the liver was looking to call a truce and bring a swift end to the war, but without the brains direction it seems that all lines of communication are down. Needless to say the liver is waving a white flag and is currently in full retreat. If you want to know how things will turn out for the liver just think of Custer in his last stand.

The Mouth – The mouth is enjoying the delicious taste of grey goose and cranberry and really does not give a damn what the effects are on the other parts of the body. This selfish attitude does not stand well with the other body parts and could lead to a coalition against the mouth later. But then again it won’t be the first or last time Gman’s mouth has got him into trouble.

The Stomach – The last time there was fireworks like this is when the British bombarded Baltimore harbor and the display led Francis Scott Key to write the Star Spangled Banner. My stomach is making really odd noises that frankly are beginning to scare me. The stomach has threatened the mouth that if it continues to consume vodka at this rate, there is a good chance that it will see that vodka again (in a partially digested form that may include food). The mouth is presently taking this under advisement.

The Arm – The arm has not seen this much exercise (lifting cocktail glasses up to the mouth) since 1998 when the TDDoC was down for repairs and gman was single and his vacuum cleaner was at the repair place. For those of you unaware the vacuum cleaner reference allow me to explain: In the early 1990’s a young, single, cockeyed enthusiastic, and adventurous Crack Pipe Larry (CPL) was home watching TBS feature a Who’s the Boss (WTB) marathon. The excitement of watching WTB just got to be too much for CPL, and one thing led to another and the thought of self gratification came to mind. But CPL had just injured his arm a few weeks earlier when TBS was running a Joanie Loves Chiachi (JLC) marathon (again self gratification). Well it just so happened that CPL spied the vacuum cleaner out of the corner of his eye. Born out of that little spark in his eye was the Vac-U-Jak 2000. Since then he has gone on to further perfect his model with the Vac-U-Jak 3000 and 4000 – a Multitude of Pleasuring.

See you all at the Americana tonight.


Points total:
Eman 7
Ska 7
Gman 7
Su 7
Goettle 7
Tamps 7
Milot 5
BB 4
Big Lou 5
Bobo 3
Donna 4
Pods 3
Julian 4
Chaty 4
Lisa Eman 4
Trent 4
Laura 3
DMile 3
Jeff 2
Billionaire Pat Worth 2
Millionaire Brandy 2
Scugi 3
Rose 2
Yo 3
Mertz 2
Neufeld 2
Chris Bode 2
Tmac 1
Yvette 1
Mrs. Scugi 1
CPL 1
Uvegas 1
Nancy HP 1
Mindy 1
Dino 1
Caitlyn 1
Mini G 1
Randy 1
Big Al 1
Lauren 1
Anna 1
Beth 1
Yvette(non Goettle) 1
Dorian 2
Melanie 123 1
Jennifer 1
Cairo 1
Cairo's cousin Joe 1
Tony Sal 1
Steve (Chaty's Friend) 1
Alli 1
Kentucky Iris 1
CSI Stu 1
Cory G aka C-note 1
Szwech 1
Jim 1
El Chorba 1
Chorba 1
Lil' Chorb 1
Brooke 1
Dan 1
Hop Girl Suzanne 1
Nikki 1
Ken 1
Chuck DePalma 1
EC Julie 1
Chris Allen 1
Conway 2
Cory Mertz 1
Jana 1
Julie (WC) 1
Katherine 1
Mosso 2
Robinmandm 1
Sandor Metler 1
The Swede 1
Will 1
The Mechanic 1
Felicia (Gman Family - GF) 1
Jean C 1
Don (Emans Friend - EF) 1
Lisa (EF) 1
Jenna (EF) 1
Frank (BigLousKid - BLK) 1
Rachel (BLK) 1
Randy (Chaty’sBitchAssFriend – CBAF) 1

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